bluephin
kittzy07Children After Parents' Separation
May 16th 2008 07:31
A family consists of a mother, a father and siblings. Mom and Dad being referred to are naturally the birth parents. But what happens when Mom and Dad decides to separate? What happens to the kids? Are they affected at all? What is it that runs in a child’s mind when his or her parents decide to live under different roofs and lead separate lives?
It’s definitely unfair and inconsiderate to say that the parents’ separation is their own affair and nobody else’s. Though a family with a single parent is widely acceptable and a known fact in today’s society, it is still an undebatable truth that a family with a complete set of parents that live and grow harmoniously is better. Two heads are better than one, so to speak. While parents live away from each other because of their unresolvable differences, the children also dwell on the issues that affect them as an individual.
Unintentionally as it is, the separation of parents affects the kids in more ways than one. Sometimes, it may not be apparent other times kids are utmost expressive of their resentment. No matter what the child’s age is at the time of the separation it will eventually bite into their system little by little.
Some children (perhaps regardless of age) turn to rebellion as an after-effect of his or her parents’ separation. People might think that younger kids are in fact too young to exhibit rebellion. But, are they really? Perhaps the answer is no. Children may rebel in many ways, older ones join certain cliques (that sometimes cause their lives be misdirected) just to feel complete. Some use illicit drugs or get involved in gangs to piss their parents off and show them their resentment for the situation. Little ones could display violence outside the confines of their own home to gain attention from both parents. Others tend to marry or get pregnant at a very early age just to have that sense of being a part of a complete family.
While some kids openly exhibit their feelings on the issue, others just keep quiet and keep every bit of confusion, questions and, sometimes, anger to themselves. Kids might do well in school but have an inferiority complex when it comes to mingling with a crowd. Have you ever come across a child who draws sketches and doodles that contain unhappiness? Possibly, this child expresses her feelings through his or her drawings.
We do not want to persecute parents who decide to separate from one another for one too many reasons. But we should keep in mind that there’s a third party involved in all these situations who also deserve counselling or support through the family crisis and that’s the children. Some kids may be accepting of the fact others just shrug it off while some make sure that their voice is heard. But whatever the children’s reactions may be, they are still kids and they have been placed in a situation that they cannot understand (no matter how old or how young they maybe).
It’s definitely unfair and inconsiderate to say that the parents’ separation is their own affair and nobody else’s. Though a family with a single parent is widely acceptable and a known fact in today’s society, it is still an undebatable truth that a family with a complete set of parents that live and grow harmoniously is better. Two heads are better than one, so to speak. While parents live away from each other because of their unresolvable differences, the children also dwell on the issues that affect them as an individual.
Unintentionally as it is, the separation of parents affects the kids in more ways than one. Sometimes, it may not be apparent other times kids are utmost expressive of their resentment. No matter what the child’s age is at the time of the separation it will eventually bite into their system little by little.
Some children (perhaps regardless of age) turn to rebellion as an after-effect of his or her parents’ separation. People might think that younger kids are in fact too young to exhibit rebellion. But, are they really? Perhaps the answer is no. Children may rebel in many ways, older ones join certain cliques (that sometimes cause their lives be misdirected) just to feel complete. Some use illicit drugs or get involved in gangs to piss their parents off and show them their resentment for the situation. Little ones could display violence outside the confines of their own home to gain attention from both parents. Others tend to marry or get pregnant at a very early age just to have that sense of being a part of a complete family.
While some kids openly exhibit their feelings on the issue, others just keep quiet and keep every bit of confusion, questions and, sometimes, anger to themselves. Kids might do well in school but have an inferiority complex when it comes to mingling with a crowd. Have you ever come across a child who draws sketches and doodles that contain unhappiness? Possibly, this child expresses her feelings through his or her drawings.
We do not want to persecute parents who decide to separate from one another for one too many reasons. But we should keep in mind that there’s a third party involved in all these situations who also deserve counselling or support through the family crisis and that’s the children. Some kids may be accepting of the fact others just shrug it off while some make sure that their voice is heard. But whatever the children’s reactions may be, they are still kids and they have been placed in a situation that they cannot understand (no matter how old or how young they maybe).
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